Just Call Me Bashful

In high school and college, I used to be a pretty loud and outgoing girl.  I wasn't terribly shy. I was quick to make friends and enjoyed being in the spotlight.  If you walked into a birthday party, I'd be the one talking loudly and laughing.  I'd be the one loudly convincing everyone to do something. I'd be the one volunteering to get up in front of everyone to do something silly.

However, as I've gotten older, I've become more introverted, enjoying more time to myself. Id rather go unnoticed.  I don't like having eyes on me.  If you walked into a birthday party, I'd be sitting in the room on the side with my closest friends chit chatting.  If I had to be in the main room, I'd be sitting on the side, listening and watching, letting someone else steal the spotlight.

I think the change has to do with insecurity issues and growing up.  Being tired and stressed out might also play a role in it, but who knows.  However, as Mr. Lace and I spend more time on what our wedding day is going to look like, I'm beginning to experience a bit of anxiety having all eyes on me.  I kept telling Mr. Lace that all eyes would be on us... you know, as a couple, where the attention would be split 50-50, but Mr. Lace reminded me that although people would look at him, the ratio would probably be more like 80% on me, 20% on him.  Wait, wait, wait...so, you're saying...

225 guests x 2 eyes each = 450 eyes
450 eyes x 20% = 90 eyes on Mr. Lace
450 x 80% = 360 eyes on me

YIKES!  I'm totally feeling shy about having that many pairs of eyes on me.  I'm going to feel awkward and weird having everyone looking my way.  Just call me Bashful!

(source)

There's not a whole lot that I can do about this except to not choose activities that draw MORE attention to us and if possible, deflect attention on others (or at least share).  After thinking about this, I'm hoping all those eyes will fade into the background when I focus on what's happening between me and Mr. Lace.  We're getting married. We're making a commitment to be faithful to one another forever.  We promise to support one another through everything.  I'm hoping that focusing on this will keep me from thinking about the many eyes that will be looking on our way.

Are you psyched for the attention you'll get on your wedding day?  Or are you completely nervous and what are you doing to cope?